Post by CHIP on Jul 20, 2018 11:20:32 GMT -6
I saw this on TRF and I thought it was funny enough to warrant a repost here.
Full credit to Hamstur from TRF.
PRESS RELEASE
Geneva, Friday 20 June 2018 - Rolex would like to explain the recent worldwide shortage of stainless steel sport models. In the last two years, we have diligently conducted market research to develop models that precisely mirror the actual needs of our clients. This re-launch will start with four distinguishing models.
1. The Always My Time (AMT) Master II. Designed for the weary traveler who goes from home to office then back home with exciting delays in rush hour traffic. As you never need to leave your time zone, the traditional hour and 24 hour hands are fused to always show the same hour. When posting on forum threads about what time the 24 hour hand is set to, trust knowing the answer is "Always My Time."
2. The Yard-Master. Why wear the same watch all day? Once home, change into this handsome watch equipped with a luxurious bi-directional platinum bezel and perform mundane tasks in style. Take life by the horns and be the stylish canine fecal collector and grass mower in the neighborhood.
3. The Seat-Dweller. After a long afternoon, retreat to your porcelain throne with this aptly named marvel. Designed with 4000 feet water resistance, it is only capable of withstanding over 66 times the basic scuba certification depth. What does that mean? After you finish pooping, absolutely take it off before you shower. But worry not, you can put it back on before planting yourself on your couch and taking pictures of it with your beverage or pet.
4. The Justdate. Designed specifically for youthful urban thirty-thousandaire who vicariously lives beyond his means, drives a BMW 3-series, lives in a two bedroom apartment that smells like beer and vomit with five other guys who also drive entry-level luxury sports sedans. To make the piece attainable, we designed a new technology called "Pseudochrom" - this piece has no movement and the hands will be permanently fixed to the same time the client must custom specify at time of order. Rolex recommends 10:10, but we expect to most popular configuration to be 5:00. This model is equipped with one complication: a manually adjustable date wheel, hence the name Justdate.
ENDS
Official Website
www.rolex.com
Full credit to Hamstur from TRF.
PRESS RELEASE
Geneva, Friday 20 June 2018 - Rolex would like to explain the recent worldwide shortage of stainless steel sport models. In the last two years, we have diligently conducted market research to develop models that precisely mirror the actual needs of our clients. This re-launch will start with four distinguishing models.
1. The Always My Time (AMT) Master II. Designed for the weary traveler who goes from home to office then back home with exciting delays in rush hour traffic. As you never need to leave your time zone, the traditional hour and 24 hour hands are fused to always show the same hour. When posting on forum threads about what time the 24 hour hand is set to, trust knowing the answer is "Always My Time."
2. The Yard-Master. Why wear the same watch all day? Once home, change into this handsome watch equipped with a luxurious bi-directional platinum bezel and perform mundane tasks in style. Take life by the horns and be the stylish canine fecal collector and grass mower in the neighborhood.
3. The Seat-Dweller. After a long afternoon, retreat to your porcelain throne with this aptly named marvel. Designed with 4000 feet water resistance, it is only capable of withstanding over 66 times the basic scuba certification depth. What does that mean? After you finish pooping, absolutely take it off before you shower. But worry not, you can put it back on before planting yourself on your couch and taking pictures of it with your beverage or pet.
4. The Justdate. Designed specifically for youthful urban thirty-thousandaire who vicariously lives beyond his means, drives a BMW 3-series, lives in a two bedroom apartment that smells like beer and vomit with five other guys who also drive entry-level luxury sports sedans. To make the piece attainable, we designed a new technology called "Pseudochrom" - this piece has no movement and the hands will be permanently fixed to the same time the client must custom specify at time of order. Rolex recommends 10:10, but we expect to most popular configuration to be 5:00. This model is equipped with one complication: a manually adjustable date wheel, hence the name Justdate.
ENDS
Official Website
www.rolex.com
